Whirlwind Weekend

My emotions have been all over the place this week.

Obviously the Hurricane Katrina disaster was horrifying to watch unfold. As flood victims poured into Dallas, the area emergency rooms were...well, flooded, to use a really awful pun.

(Quick background tidbit: I’m an emergency room nurse in Dallas.)

Taking care of the evacuees was heart-wrenching at times. Other times, I delighted in getting to meet so many people from a unique place. I’ve never visited the city before (and guess I won’t be any time in the near future), and I discovered that New Orleans must’ve been an interesting place.

A couple of my patients were Spanish-speaking only, and I usually manage to communicate appropriately with my college Spanish skillz. However, instead of “gracias” for thank you, New Orleans Hispanics say the French “mercí” which amused me to no end. Are you still supposed to say “de nada” when they say “mercí”? I don’t know how to say “you’re welcome” in French. The mixed French-Spanish accent was fascinating to me, and I tried (unsuccessfully) to pick it up.

Friday, I made an error in judgment which possibly cost a patient his life and at the very least, his legs. I sank into a mini-depression briefly, emerging today after I realized that in truth, I didn’t do anything wrong. I reviewed the chart on Saturday, and by the books, I made no errors. My only error was not trusting my gut, something that doesn’t translate into the chart and more importantly, something that probably wouldn't have saved his legs anyway. I tend to want to take responsibility for everything, but I’m forcing myself to acknowledge that I am not responsible for what happened. Truly, the hurricane is responsible. I just feel sad about it because the family was so nice to me in the face of their awful tragedy.

On a side note, the patients with the nice families always seem to have the bad outcomes. The bitchy psychotic patients always pull through, though. What the hell?

(So my emotions over the span of two days so far were down-up-down-moderate...are you keeping track?)

I started my Saturday shift gleefully, having watched TCU defeat OU. I’m the only TCU grad in an ER full of OU grads and supporters, so I basked in the glory for quite some time.

And then Saturday’s shift kicked my ass. So that was another up-down.

To add to this bipolar weekend, I’m spending my Sunday evening at a fancy dinner with my boyfriend’s parents. I can’t think of a surer way than that to produce yet more ambivalent emotions.