Funky Funk

I thought about writing a happy post to cheer up Plan C, but in the end I’ve decided to stick to the sad theme and write about my latest depression.

I’m in a funk this week. I hate funks because I don’t know what they are. What causes them? One day I’m doing great, then bam, everything in the world is mediocre at best and mostly depressing, and I find myself identifying with angsty Kelly Clarkson songs. Oh man, I've hit a new low.

This is the difference between my post and the two preceding mine. The two previous writers have very good reasons to be sad. Me? Not so much. I’ve got the chronic depressing factors--the insane divorced parents, the jailbird sister, the archenemy at work--but I deal with those issues every day. They’re hardly acute. Everyone’s got those.

The weird thing about funks is how I feel unwilling to pull myself out of them. You’d think I’d engage in something fun, try to cheer myself up. Instead, I’m brooding over old journals, regretting various things from the past that can’t be changed, and listening to music that makes a good soundtrack to sadness.

For example, this Get Up Kids song reminds me of someone I want to talk to but apparently will never have the balls to do so. Oh, and here’s that Something Corporate song that reminds me of how I acted like an ass something like four years ago. And Eisley, hell, it’s just a sad song.

I should turn it off. But it’s like a watching a train wreck; I keep doing it, fascinated by the gruesome details of my sadness.

This is pretty pathetic--sounds like I’m in the throes of a full-on pity party over nothing when other contributors to this website are dealing with very real grief. I shouldn’t even have written this, right?

The thing is, I’m hoping this pitiful display is the rock bottom of this funk, which means I have to feel better tomorrow.

I will feel better tomorrow. Or else I'll give myself a reason to feel sad! (said in the same tone of voice my mother used back when I was six and crying for no good reason)