Apartment Life

I pay way more than anyone should ever pay to live in a one-bedroom apartment because the community is very safe and quiet. I live by myself with no one I know nearby, and I come home from work at 4:00 am. Safety’s important. Also, working nights equals sleeping days, so the quiet factor is important, too. I don’t mind shelling out the bucks because I’ve always felt safe here, and I rarely hear my neighbors.

Until my next door neighbor got a drumset.

I love music, so on the rare occasion when I’ve heard his stereo through the wall we share, I haven’t minded. I was cool with it because he was playing stuff I like--I might’ve responded differently if he was a country music fan, but he usually plays Radiohead*, which is fine by me.

So the first time I was awakened to the distant boom-boom-boom of an amateur drumset, I actually took the time to listen and see if I enjoyed the music before I formed a negative opinion. It only took a couple painful measures for me to realize that this guy has absolutely no sense of rhythm. I then felt annoyance with the situation, but I also felt genuinely sorry for him, a guy who was born without the ability to make good music. Or really, any music with a discernible beat.

Fortunately for me, he only attempts to play occasionally. I’ve lately become overcome with the urge to go knock on his door and try to tutor him. He’s just so pitiful. Plus, if you’re going to wake me up early before I go work a twelve-hour shift, it damn well better be with nice music.

Ah, the joys of apartment living. It’s really not the great improvement over dorm life like I imagined it would be. One day I’ll have to bite the bullet and learn how to use a lawn mower so I’ll be able to buy a house.

*Did anyone else notice Radiohead in Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire*?!

*It should be noted that I have already seen the movie* twice, one of those times on IMAX.

*It should also be noted* that Harry takes off his shirt in the movie, and you can just shut up calling me pervy because he looks nearly legal now.

*It should also be noted that I now hold the record for most footnotes ever on Plan C.