New York

To celebrate Christmas being over (I have an extensive Christmas jinx which includes the incarcerations and near-death experiences of various family members and most recently, being dumped), I took a trip to New York City with my boyfriend, who decided to un-dump me a couple days before the trip. We stayed in a sketchy hotel right smack in the middle of Manhattan which boasted bed sheets with “Hong Kong” embroidered all over them and a night-long serenade by random street musicians.

We engaged in typical New York tourist behavior: we people-watched from a bench in Central Park. We attended a Broadway musical. We ate roasted nuts while gawking at the giant tree in Rockefeller Center. We got coffee at Dean & Deluca’s. We snuck into a ritzy hotel lobby and pretended to be guests while consuming said coffee.

I also had the privilege of engaging in typical New York resident behavior: I actually drove through the city. Right through Times Square. Since starting my job in Dallas, I have considered myself a veteran of bad traffic navigation, but Dallas has nothing on New York. I have never feared for my life while driving in Dallas.

Ironically, there are signs posted up and down the streets that read “DO NOT HONK. $350 PENALTY.” This is ironic because there is so very much of the honking. Even the policemen are honking. I am generally opposed to honking because I believe it is usually due to impatience or unmedicated rage. However, on the way out of the city, I was forced to honk. It was an I’m-going-to-be-stuck-in-the-middle-of-an-intersection-and-annihilated-by-scary-cabbies-if-I-don’t-honk situation, so I honked.

I broke my honking seal.

Now I feel urges to honk all the time. The palm of my hand caresses the gentle curvature of the center of the steering wheel, yearning to apply pressure. During my commute to work on Thursday, I did honk. A car cut me off by swerving into my lane--with his blinker indicating that he would be swerving the other direction--and I couldn’t help myself. I had to express that I disapproved of that sort of behavior.

I’m so ashamed, because I have become what I loathe--that asshole honking driver. I heart New York indeed.